1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clearyour computer history if you die.
2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when yourealize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I wasyounger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm prettysure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how theperson died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at workwhen you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive forthe rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? Idon't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks meif I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that Iswear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not toanswer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday orSaturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom andhunger.
19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nodand smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team upto prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothersand sisters!
21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never getdirty, and you can wear them forever.
22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and stillnot know what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their carkeys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on theDonkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 yearsfor men to realize that their brain is also important.
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i am the queen, and you are all my peasents.
